Fear

What is one's greatest fear?

Although we all think we fear death, but for most us, fear of death is most likely beyond us. Of course deep inside we may fear it, but because we are never close enough to it, it had never really mattered all that much.

But death is generous. Maybe a little too generous lately.

During New Year Eve of 2007, Thailand found itself stuck in a power struggle. Who knows who the opposition is. Nevertheless, that is not the point of this particular post. On that particular day, eight bombs were placed in Bangkok. Not only was this unforeseen, but an act of this multitude had never been on displayed in Bangkok. Of course there were shootings on the street, coup de tat, and bomb threat, but never before had a bomb been set without prior warnings. Well, I guess that's at least what I can remember, which is probably within the past 20 years.

For the first time in a very long time, living in Bangkok is like living in southern Thailand. There are people who fear death and fear going out to public places. There are also people who just go out anyway. Maybe they aren't afraid. Maybe they are, but simply concluded that had they were destined to die, they would have die anyway; they don't need to get stuck in a bomb explosion to die, they can die from a toothpick getting stuck in their throat if they were destined to die.

How does it feel to fear death? For me, the new year episode and my road trip have provided me an interesting insight into this particular fear. It was rather interesting actually. You are facing a real fear and that one particular misstep can result in you getting in deep trouble. It opens up a new dimension to your perception and senses.

Still, it is not funny to know that going out can mean getting into trouble physically. What would one choose? Live a careful, sedentary life in fear of death? Will you live a "carpe diem" style where "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today" is the motto? Or rather a middle ground somewhere in between? Or is there no easy middle ground in circumstances such as what we are seeing that is about to unfold in the near future?